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Every year about this time, some sort of small alarm goes off in my head and I suddenly realize that another year of existence has passed. Don’t get me wrong, I truly love my life and really have enjoyed every year of it so far. However, this season always fills me with a mixture of wonder, excitement, and confusion. I wonder how in the world yet another year has passed, and I’ve done so very little of interest! I’m excited to spend another lovely year in this existence, doing the “so very little” I was just wondering about. And I’m confused how, after nearly 30 years on this earth, I’m still so filled with alarm regarding the swiftness of each passing year.

For me, 2009 was a great year! Let me start off by saying that I am a very lucky man. I love my wife, my home and my job – a singular accomplishment indeed. And overall, I’m very happy. However, as with any situation where a man feels three wholly different emotions at once, there must be a pause to catch ones breath. Most men are not wired for such emotion filled events. After a suitable length of time, and some soothing breathing, further thoughts can continue and I can sit back to evaluate these emotions at length.

Wonder

It never ceases to amaze me that all conversations with acquaintances, family and even friends eventually turn to the dreaded question of “So… what have you been up to?” or something along these lines. I hate this question. To start with, they have usually just finished expounding on their recent acts of greatness – a promotion, an amazing vacation, a nomination for some prestigious award, or something equally victorious. I then, have to respond with something as trivial as “Not much.” And frankly, in their eyes, I’m sure it’s the truth. You see, my wife and I don’t enjoy the “normal” pastimes of sunny vacations, trips to the ocean or other such notable adventures. Instead, we usually find a fun recipe and make dinner together. Or we forgo showers for a week while backpacking on a muddy trail in a torrential downpour. And we love every minute of it.

But to the rest of the world, these pastimes usually seem absurd. With regards to the latter, I’m usually asked – why don’t you just fly to a sunny spot and enjoy the scenery from a lounge chair with a cold alcoholic beverage in your hand? And frankly, if I have to explain the joy in lugging 5 days of food up a steep muddy cliff, I highly doubt they will understand. With regards to cooking a meal, many times I get the response “That sounds like so much effort! Why didn’t you just go out for dinner?” Once or twice I’ve tried to reason with people and yet usually come across the inevitable point where I have to concede that yes, cooking does mean doing the dishes. With this confession, they feel they have won. This is fine with me as it probably means more secluded hiking trails and shorter lines at the grocery store. These are both positive results in my mind.

Excitement

Often to the chagrin of those around me, I’m a perpetual optimist. Whether or not it comes from my mother’s almost annoyingly cheery outlook on life, or my stubbornness to admit that the world may not fully be on my side, I don’t know. Regardless, I like to look at another year as a gift – the chance to continue for another 365 days doing those things which bring me joy. My wife and I both agree that greater amounts of backpacking are in order this coming year. She’s also begun on a delightful culinary odyssey that will surely bring no small amount of delicious food to our table. This, my friends, is what I call living the good life. Feel free to disagree if you must.

Confusion

Frankly, I must say that being in a state of confusion is not reserved for a new year approaching. Something as simple as locating my cellular phone often brings about no small amounts of confusion, especially when I know beyond a doubt that I left it on the dresser, and yet somehow it appears on the charger near the picture window – right where I would have put it if I were trying to charge it. I know I must have, in a moment of incredible lucidity, placed it there and yet I have no recollection of the act. The same can be said for the unexplainable disappearance of several pairs of scissors, the seemingly impossible act of locating both my hammer and the proper size nail simultaneously, as well as the ability to lose all the hair from my knuckles while light a coal stove, despite extreme care. I take pride in my ability to thrive on confusion.

However, the confusion regarding the passage of time is somewhat unique. As a year passes, it always seems that the end of the week is very far away. Yet, last Monday seems like an eternity ago. How is this possible? Being of the engineering mindset, I have concluded the following: The future moves much more slowly than the past. Think about it.

Happy New Year! Wishing you and yours a blessed 2010 filled with your own wonder, excitement and of course, confusion!